In my book (Before You Say I Don’t), I did address the importance of fighting for your marriage. Couples who choose to stay together are not the ones who never had a reason to get divorced, but they are the ones who decided that their commitment to one another is always more important than their differences and flaws. Keep fighting for each other and don’t give up! Your marriage is always worth the effort.”
I have a section in my book that gives several reasons to fight for your marriage, and one of them is the impact on the world around us. Kerby Anderson states, “Nations most often fall from within and this fall is usually due to a decline in the moral and spiritual values in the family. As families go, so goes a nation.”[i] This has been the main premise of historians who have studied civilizations that have collapsed. That is how important your marriage and your family’s stability is! Families are the foundation of a nation, and when the family crumbles the nation falls because nations are built upon family units.
Marriage is not just a church thing, or a religious thing or even just a Christian thing. No, marriage is an institution that predates Christianity, has been practiced by many cultures and religions throughout history. While marriage itself is not exclusively Christian, some of the rituals, beliefs, and practices associated with Christian marriage have shaped how it is viewed and practiced in other cultures. The biblical account of marriage in Genesis started with Adam and Eve and has shaped the understanding of marriage as a sacred bond between a man and a woman. It was and still is considered a holy union blessed by God.
God gives four purposes for marriage. Married couples honor God by seeking to fulfill all four as He gives opportunity.
- Raising children. While some married couples might be providentially hindered from having children, Scripture views children as a blessing to be sought, and parents are to raise children in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.
- Sexual satisfaction. God does not allow sex outside of marriage. Within marriage, it is to be enjoyed, like any other good gift from God.
- Blessing the world and the church. Often, a couple is greater than the sum of its parts. Two can serve better than one.
- Companionship. At creation, when God made everything, He declared it to be good. The same can be said for marriage. The one thing that God said was not good was for man to be alone.
If there is just one point to remember, it is this: marriage is worth fighting for and it is good because God said it is! It is important to understand that marriage isn’t meant to be about making you happy but about conforming you to the image of our Lord Jesus Christ and living out the selfless love Has for your spouse. Understanding this golden principle of marriage is a major reason in fighting for your marriage. Not understanding this is also why many end in divorce. There are too many people who don’t understand what true love and sacrificially loving your spouse as Christ loved us.
“TWO SHALL BECOME ONE FLESH” Genesis 2:24
The one-flesh union between a man and woman is the heart of what marriage is. God joins a husband and a wife into a one-flesh union. God does that. The world does not know this. Which is one of the reasons why marriage is treated so casually. And Christians often act like they don’t know it, which is one of the reasons marriages in the church is not seen as the wonder it is. Marriage is God’s doing because it is a one-flesh union that God himself performs.
Because marriage is God’s idea, He will help you deal with whatever struggles you might have. You can know that when God is fighting for your marriage, it IS WORTH IT!
[i] Kerby Anderson, The Decline of a Nation (www.leaderu.com)
