Forgive or not to forgive…
Colossians 3:13 (NLT) Make allowance for each other’s faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others.
It is important to know that forgiveness is not an option if you want to live with healthy relationships. It is vital to understand that forgiveness is not just a side issue in the Christian faith; it is the very center of the gospel message! (Ephesians 1:7 In him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of sins, in accordance with the riches of God’s grace)
Forgiveness in the Bible is a “release” or a “dismissal” of something.
No one deserves to be forgiven (including you and me). Forgiveness is a deliberate act of love, mercy, and grace. Forgiveness is a decision to not hold something against another person, despite what he or she has done to you.
In order to understand unforgiveness, it is first necessary to understand what it means to forgive. In the Greek, the word forgive means: to free fully, relieve, release, dismiss, let die, pardon, divorce, let go, loose, put away, and to set at liberty.
When unforgiveness enters our hearts, it erodes our ability to love, bond and trust, making us cold, bitter and hard. It kills our ability to develop relationships and fellowship with others – even the Lord God Himself! “But when ye do not forgive, neither will your Father which is in heaven forgive your trespasses” (Mark 11:26). Many people hold unforgiveness in their hearts in an effort to hurt the one who first hurt them, not realizing that they are the ones who suffer the most!
Neil Anderson in the Bondage Breaker says, “Forgiveness is agreeing to live with the consequences of another person’s sin. Forgiveness is costly; we pay the price of the evil we forgive. Yet you’re going to live with those consequences whether you want to or not; your only choice is whether you will do so in the bitterness of unforgiveness or the freedom of forgiveness. That’s how Jesus forgave you-He took the consequences of your sin upon Himself. All true forgiveness is substitutional, because no one really forgives without bearing the penalty of the other person’s sin.”
Why then do we forgive? Because Christ forgave us. God the Father “made Him who knew no sin to be sin on our behalf, that we might become the righteousness of God in Him” (2 Corinthians 5:21). The cross makes forgiveness legally and morally right: “For the death that He died, He died to sin, once for all” (Romans 6: 10).
How do you forgive from the heart? First you acknowledge the hurt and the hate. If your forgiveness doesn’t visit the emotional core of your past, it will be incomplete. When we hold unforgiveness against those who have hurt us, then the resulting bitterness of heart is eating us up inside! Unforgiveness is like taking poison but expecting someone else to die. Unforgiveness is choosing to stay trapped in a jail cell of bitterness, serving time for someone else’s crime
Unforgiveness is not an end to itself. Hebrews 12:15 says, See to it that no one misses the grace of God and that no bitter root grows up to cause trouble and defile many. Bitterness becomes the groundwork of a downward spiral of spiritual battles and strongholds that lead to: Unforgiveness, Resentment, Retaliation, Anger and Wrath, Hatred, Violence and Murder and each is progressively more dangerous than the other and more powerful than the other.
We are seeing a whole generation of bitter, angry, hard-hearted people boiling over with silent rage and unforgiveness! The person who is bitter is often resentful, cynical, harsh, cold, relentless, and unpleasant to be around.
We must stand on the truth that Christ’s Work Paid Everything! Nothing good can come from holding on to our anger and bitterness.
Ephesians 4:26-27 (NLT), And “don’t sin by letting anger control you.” Don’t let the sun go down while you are still angry, for anger gives a foothold to the devil.
Jesus Christ declared that His shed blood and sacrificial death were the full and total payment for the sins of mankind—including the sins committed against you! We simply cannot add to that which Christ has declared complete. When Jesus said, “It is Finished” what He meant is IT IS FINISHED! To choose not forgive is to deny the finished work of Christ on the cross.
Today—make the choice to follow these Steps to Forgiveness:
- Ask God to show you the people you need to forgive and write those names down.
- Write down the things that people did to hurt you only if you feel it would help you in forgiving them.
- Pray for God’s gracious presence to guide you through this process. Ask Him to bring to your mind specifically the offenses against you and how they made you feel.
- Begin by confessing to God your sin of harboring anger, bitterness, or unforgiveness. Then make the choice to forgive. Say, “Lord, I forgive…”
- Conclude your forgiveness of each individual by praying: “Dear Lord, I choose not to hold anything against those who have hurt me. Thank YOU that I am forgiven for my anger and bitterness. I now ask YOU to bless those who have hurt me. I give up my right to seek revenge, and I ask that YOU would heal my broken heart. In JESUS’ Name I pray, AMEN.”
